Cannibal Kid: Too much for Muslims to chew

The Prime Minister has weighed into the debate on Naomi Robson’s arrest in Indonesia today. In parliament, John Howard called for the release of Robson and the group that is now being called the Papua Five and linked the plight of Wa-Wa to Australian values. “Cannibalism is not an Australian value, ” he told parliament this afternoon. “I say to new migrants, that you are welcome to come to Australia but don’t think you can continue to eat people.”

Shortly afterwards, the treasurer Peter Costello called reporters to a door stop interview. “Muslim leaders are not doing enough to denounce cannibalism,” he warned. “A minority of Muslims have not integrated and they refuse to speak out against the cannibalism that they know is going on in another country.”

Muslim leaders have responded angrily to Mr Costello’s comments. “If politicians don’t stop talking about cannibalism, there will be more riots like Cronulla,” warned the chairman of the Prime Minister’s handpicked Muslim Reference Group.

Mustafa Mata-Hari, a prominent and outspoken critic of most of the Muslim community, denounced the chairman’s comments. “The Prime Minister is absolutely correct on this issue,” Mata-Hari told The Australian three hours before the Prime Minister spoke in parliament. “Most Muslims are cannibals and that is the fault of the older generation that refuse to speak English. What else is there for a young Muslim other than cannibalism?”

Alan Jones has called on the government to take action. “I have had countless callers — ordinary, fair dinkum’ Australians like me — calling and telling me that we have a big problem with cannibalism. A huge problem, ” he told listeners to his popular radio program on 2GB. “We even have video stores that are so cowed to this bellicose, man-eating minority that they are renting copies of the Burt Reynold’s hate-film Cannibal Run 1, 2 and 3 to ethnic teenagers. And we don’t need to guess what religion those teenagers are.”

Meanwhile, lawyers for Schappelle Corby have announced they will be calling Naomi Robson as a witness for the defence. “If Indonesian airport officials can mistake Robson for a journalist, then they can surely mistake Corby for a drug trafficker,” a spokesman for the legal team said today.