Muslim world erupts: Pope still Catholic after all these years

The Muslim street is fulminating with rage in response to a recent speech by Pope Benedict, in which the Pope quoted an early Christian emperor who had described Islam’s teachings as “evil and inhuman”.

The Pope’s contentious comments come shortly after cardinal George Pell angered the world’s Muslims by denouncing Islam as a “violent faith”.

“We were not surprised that George Pell attacked us,” said one Sydney Muslim leader. “After all, we always knew he was Catholic. But none of us expected this from the Pope.”

The Vatican has moved quickly to quell Muslim rage. Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi said, “When the Holy Father said that Islam was an evil religion, he didn’t actually mean that Islam was evil. He meant that it was ‘wicked’ – that it was a cool religion, man.”

The chairman of the Prime Minister’s Muslim Reference Group has said he will be visiting the Vatican next year. “I’m going to meet Mr Pope and Mrs Pope,” he said. “And I will take the issue up with him then.”

Mustapha Cashin-Karri, a member of the Prime Minister’s Muslim Reference Group, criticised the Muslim world for taking offence to the Pope’s comments. “I am absolutely supportive of the Pope on this issue,” he said.

“For too long, Muslims have been taught that they must follow the Prophet. Nobody ever taught them that there is another option and that is to follow me,” Mr Cashin-Karri said.

Meanwhile, a Turkish government official warned that comments such as the Pope’s could provoke a backlash against Muslims in Europe. “We fear that if these sorts of comments continue, there will be pressure on European countries to crack down on Muslim rights. We might even see some of these countries banning the hijab as we do here in Turkey,” warned one Turkish official. “We have asked for an urgent meeting and will be sending our special delegate, Mehmet Ali Agca.”

The Pakistani government has ordered that more protesters be deployed onto the streets. General Hamid Khan of the Pakistani Military warned that if the Pope doesn’t apologise, the Pakistani government reserves its right to deploy Papal effigies and to order its protesters to burn more flags. “If a peaceful settlement isn’t reached soon,” he warned. “We may even see American flags being burned.”

Experts on Vatican affairs are perplexed by the Pope’s sudden embrace of Catholicism. Professor Jim Zucker, producer of the 1986 documentary ‘Ruthless Papal’, featuring Danny DeVito, has suggested that the Pope’s recent radicalisation may be the result of the internet. “We have seen the radicalising effect of the internet on Muslim youths, so it is no surprise that the Pope might also be coming into contact with extremist Catholic literature online too.”

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