Saira Khan speaks out on North Korea

A runner-up on BBC TV’s The Apprentice reality television show, Saira Khan, has entered the debate on women’s dress in the United Kingdom. Writing in the previously prestigious The Times, Khan likened the veil to, “domestic violence, forced marriages, sexual abuse and child abuse that are rife in the Muslim community”.

Saira is the daughter of immigrant Kashmiri parents and claims to have suffered from an overly strict upbringing which led to all sorts of inhuman suffering. As she told a British newspaper, “At home I ate different food to the meals my English friends ate and watched Bollywood films while my friends were going to the cinema. I would have loved to have had sausages and baked beans at home, or get my dad to go to the pub and drink cider, but that was never going to be.”

“They even tried to force me into an arranged marriage,” she said. “Thankfully, I escaped that and ended up with a nice non-Muslim white man called Steve. Now we can eat all the sausages we want and I can speak English at home without fear.”

“I’ve got all the qualities for a spokeswoman on Muslim issues.,” she told Satirical Muslim. “I’m smart, attractive, worked as an aerobics instructor for many years, and I’m a runner up on a popular BBC reality show. I’m married to a non-Muslim white man and we eat sausages at home, so I know what it takes to succeed in business.”

Some Muslim leaders have criticised Saira’s comments on the hijab but she dismisses their complaints. “I come from a background in Reality TV so I know all about the real world,” she says. “I’ll keep talking as long as I am willing to listen to myself.”

“If there is one thing I took home from The Apprentice apart from some sausages from the canteen,” she said. “It is the importance of publicity and taking whatever opportunities come to you.”

Recently, Saira has followed up her criticism of Muslim women that wear veils with a strong attack on the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il over his recent nuclear test.

“Is he trying to intimidate us into not doing something by wearing those glasses and that jumpsuit that looks like it escaped from the set of a 1950s science fiction flick?”, she asks carefully. “I think keeping fit and fashion are very important and, as I was saying to my husband, a white man, whilst we sat down one evening over sausages and cider to recount my horrible conservative childhood, my background makes me perfectly qualified to comment on North Korean politics.”

“I’ve always been very Korea-minded,” she laughs. “I’m a Korea-girl. And I share a certain affinity with the North Korean people because, like them, I had a childhood without sausages and where I was made to speak a foreign language instead of English. “

“If I have one message for Kim Jong Il though, it is this,” she warns whilst drawing imaginary sausages on the table. “I’m 35 and I worked 9 to 5 for most of my life. I didn’t go on The Apprentice because I wanted a higher profile. I went on there to help Sir Alan Sugar out. It doesn’t matter that I came second because the most important thing is having talent and proving you can get results. I’m going to be the next big thing, just you wait and see.”